The Ideal Red Sox Starting Lineup

by Terry Cushman Jr

One of the most infuriating aspects of the 2025 Red Sox, is that Craig Breslow has actively blocked his best possible lineup from materializing.

Boston fans are constantly asking themselves:

1. Why is winning not a priority?

2. What are they waiting for?

3. Are they fucking stupid?

4. Who the fuck is Abraham Toro?

Every single one of us does daily mental gymnastics to try and rationalize those above questions, but it’s impossible to formulate any answers which make sense.

In my opinion, this is the best nightly lineup:

Jarren Duran LF***

Raffy Devers 1B

Alex Bregman 3B

Abreu/Refsnyder RF***

Roman Anthony RF***

Kristian Campbell 2B

Marcelo Mayer SS

Carlos Narvaez C

Ceddanne Rafaela CF***

*** Why is there no DH? Because all of the outfielders will have to cycle in and out of that spot every night, essentially as de facto night off.

Raffy Devers will have to play first base for all these pieces to fall into place. Book a hotel conference room. Send in David Ortiz, Dustin Pedroia, Kevin Youkilis, Mike Lowell, the Pope, Mitch Moreland, Kevin Millar, Mike Napoli. And then March Devers in there, and have an intervention.

There’s a strong likelihood that either Jarren Duran or Wilyer Abreu will be part of a trade package this July, which will address a need, and clear up some of the outfield logjam.

Where is Trevor Story? Off the roster, and a closed chapter from the Chaim Bloom era.

A failure to accept the reality that the former Colorado shortstop is no longer a mere fraction of his $22M salary is a terrible excuse for future losses.

There has been speculation on social media and the Bastards of Boston podcast on whether or not there is some in-fighting between Alex Cora and Craig Breslow. This could possibly range from very minor to “all out civil war.”

These steps would be very meaningful. But for at least the short term, Red Sox fans will likely continue enduring the meaningless.